I stumbled across this letter/poem/missive I wrote to my nemesis- anxiety- in May 2009. I am sharing this today for two reasons. 1- If you, or someone you love, suffers from paralyzing anxiety know there is HOPE. 2- Someone in your life feels like this. You may not realize it. But someone does. Look for the signs and offer help and support. One month after writing this letter I started taking medication for anxiety, and my life has been forever changed for the better. God is my ULTIMATE healer, and the medication I take daily makes this letter seem like it was authored by another person.
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YOU take root at the base of my body
Unwelcomed. Yet so powerful.
Growing stronger with each of my breaths,
As I speak the name of my Savior to cast you out
You only draw back to hide in shadows
YOUR finger-like offshoots creep into my secret spaces
The dark, quiet places
Where I am most vulnerable- most naked.
You prey on me here when I am unprotected. Alone.
YOU are parasitic. Taking your life blood from mine. Inextricably combined- you and me—hating you for your lies I rip you out when you stifle me. Only to watch you flourish once more somewhere else—on another day.
YOUR canopy spreads out above me darkening my happiest moments. Green leaves laden with fear, deceit, sickness. Bear down. Form an impenetrable barrier between me and the world I yearn to be part of WHOLE not broken
Oh, Lord! Am I ever to be free from this bondage? When will you completely rescue me? My mind and body belong to you. Why do they seem to betray US? Give me strength to cut out the poison growing in my life. Heal me from this sickness of life altering anxiety.
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